A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering
by Annette-Rose
Summary: Sequal to 'You're Beautiful, it's True'.Charlotte is finding Clarisse's behaviour around her strange. Will Clarisse reveal her secret to Charlotte? Will Charlotte ever know?
1. Chapter 1

AN – This is the long awaited for sequel to 'You're Beautiful, It's True'. I have finally come up with a story line that will flow on all right from the previous story, so I hope it meets all expectations. I'm afraid it's not as 'happy' or cheerful as the last one, but it's what came to me.

Any references to crossroads in this story will be my interpretations or quotes from Michael Phillips fiction 'Kings Crossroads'.

**Chapter 1 - A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

_Somewhere in the past…_

"Please…" the woman begged, crying bitterly.

"SHUT UP!" the man spat through clenched teeth.

He tied her hands to the bedpost, despite her struggles, and shoved her legs down as she tried in vain to kick out.

"I'll…I'll do anything…anything but this…" she pleaded, pulling on the ropes tied round her wrists.

She could feel the skin tearing away but pain no longer mattered. She had to get away, escape this unthinkable situation…

"You'll do what I tell you" the man grunted, pressing his entire weight upon her as his belt fell away.

"You're mine now, and you will bow to _my _wishes" he breathed in her ear, causing her to tremble, both from his breath and the fear of what was to come.

Raising his head so it was just above her face, he stared into her eyes with a look of desire that caused more silent, fearful tears to stream from the woman's pleading eyes.

Suddenly, her eyes widened in shock and a painful scream tore from her throat…

_Present day at the Genovian Palace…_

Joseph strolled down the corridor towards Clarisse's office, whistling a playful non-descript tune. As he approached the double doors, he became silent. He smiled to himself as he heard the soft melody of a song drift towards him. She must have known he was coming…

Pushing the doors open without announcing himself, Joseph moved silently inside until he was standing right behind his queen. She hadn't noticed him enter as she was humming along to the song and staring out the window.

_'But it's time to face the truth…I will never be with you'_

"You know that song is wrong" Joseph murmured into her ear as he gently placed his hands upon her shoulders.

Clarisse jumped, just barely holding back a scream. Abruptly turning, she looked into his eyes; her own widened in fright.

"Joseph!" she scolded, features instantly switching to relief, then annoyance.

"I'm sorry Clarisse, did I frighten you?" Joseph asked, genuine concern covering his features, as he was flooded with guilt. He removed his hands from her shoulders.

Clarisse visibly relaxed, taking a deep breath before taking one of Joseph's hands in her own.

"No, it is not your fault. I just over-reacted" Clarisse looked into his eyes, forcing a smile.

"Well, as long as you are fine now" Joseph stated, still feeling guilty but letting it pass.

Joseph watched Clarisse smile genuinely as she moved away to shuffle papers atop her desk.

"Tell me, what has Her Majesty got scheduled for the next twenty minutes?" Joseph asked playfully, plans already forming in his mind.

"A meeting with Sebastian I am afraid," Clarisse said, voice full of regret.

"Why? What has my Head of Security have in mind?"

Joseph smiled as he noticed Clarisse playing along with his game.

"I thought Her Majesty should inspect the Rose garden, with my protection of course," Joseph said seriously, standing erect with hands clasped behind his back.

"Now why would I need such high rate security if I was to just inspect my own garden?" Clarisse asked, features clearly struggling to remain inquisitive.

"I have been informed that the vines have been a little overexcited of late. And besides, I never did trust those butterfly's. They are just too innocent to be trustworthy…" Joseph informed his queen, face deep in thought on the conspiracy.

Clarisse snorted most unladylike before laughing openly.

"Oh Joseph, you really are…" Clarisse drifted off, seeming to be lost for words.

"Wonderful?" Joseph suggested, "Funny? Handsome?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of 'crazy'" Clarisse chuckled, "but I must agree that you _are_ handsome"

Joseph thrust out his chest at her words and brushed a hand over his bald head as if combing back lush hair. Raising his chin, he gave her a ridiculous grin.

"Oh Joseph!" Clarisse laughed, swatting his arm, "Do stop!"

Feigning a look of hurt, Joseph slouched down and turned to leave.

"Come back here you" Clarisse murmured before taking his arm and turning him to face her.

Joseph smiled as he looked into her eyes, enjoying the fact that she was so comfortable with playing these games with him. He could tell that she truly appreciated being just 'Clarisse' with him and not 'Your Majesty'.

"Joseph," Clarisse began, "I have a meeting now but after dinner tonight I have the rest of the night to do as I please. Perhaps that would be an appropriate time to inspect my rose garden?"

Joseph's smile grew as he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin atop her head.

"Perfect" he whispered as he placed a kiss upon her head.

Clarisse pulled out of his embrace, ran her hand down the side of his face and dropping it to her side.

"Until then…?" Clarisse prompted, brow raised as if waiting for his acknowledgement.

"Until then I shall be all business, Your Majesty" Joseph replied, straightening up and staring over her shoulder.

Clarisse's face softened instantly and a small smile graced her lips as she picked up various documents from her desk.

"I shall see you after dinner then Joseph" Clarisse informed her Head of Security before walking out the door.

Once she was gone, Joseph allowed himself a small knowing smile as he glanced around her office.

"Until then" he murmured before turning on his heel and following her footsteps.

A.N – Well there's the first chapter. Please review and let me know what you think; your input is greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

_More from the past…_

"No, no, no…" the woman wept, body sprawled out on the bathroom floor.

In her hand she held a pregnancy test showing positive. To any other married woman this would be delightful, but to this middle-aged woman it was complete torture.

She rolled onto her back, clouded eyes staring blankly at the intricate ceiling, tears streaming down her face forming a puddle underneath her head. Her arms were flopped out either side of her and her chest was heaving with each ragged breath she drew.

She lay there unmoving for hours. Lost. Numb from the truth. Not knowing what to do or think.

How did it come to this?

_Present day at the Genovian Palace…_

Joseph ate his dinner so quickly that all present were surprised he didn't choke on his food. What they didn't realise was that the Queen had already eaten and that Joseph was hurrying to meet her outside at the back entrance of the palace.

Jogging from the kitchen, Joseph slowed as he approached the door to the outside of the back of the palace. Clarisse appeared to be speaking to someone.

Pushing the door open, Joseph found Clarisse with a look of confusion and disbelief written all over her face while her secretary, Charlotte, stood by nervously.

Clarisse looked up as Joseph approached, acknowledging his presence before turning to Charlotte and saying something quietly. Charlotte immediately turned and left, looking relieved as she passed Joseph without looking at him.

"What was all that about?" Joseph queried as he stopped before Clarisse.

Clarisse's face instantly changed, as she seemed to force the matter from her mind. Joseph could see through her mask, and what he saw didn't comfort him.

"It's nothing, Joseph" Clarisse waved her hand between them as if dismissing the problem.

"I thought Queen's never lied" Joseph teased.

"Can you see through me that well?" Clarisse asked in disbelief, her fingers nervously playing with the tassels of her silk scarf.

"Yes" Joseph stated proudly, "Just like I can tell it's making you nervous as you think about it" Joseph indicated her constantly moving fingers.

Clarisse instantly stilled her hands.

"Oh Joseph. I can't hide anything from you can I?" Clarisse admitted in defeat, sighing heavily as she dropped her hands to her sides.

"Here, walk with me and tell me all about it" Joseph offered his arm, turning to face the palace gardens before them.

Clarisse clenched her hands at her sides, fighting an inner battle before giving into defeat and wrapping her hands around his waiting arm.

Joseph smiled gently, leading her down the steps and walking into the lush garden maze.

"Now, what has you so worked up Clarisse?" Joseph asked gently.

"Oh it's just something Charlotte told me about her past that I found a little disturbing" Clarisse began.

"She told me that she was actually adopted from the hospital here in Genovia. Apparently, she was found by the doctors abandoned in one of the private hospital rooms; she was only a few hours old!" Clarisse exclaimed, gripping Joseph's arm tightly.

"The doctors did all they could to help her but she was getting quite sick. She said it was her adopted mother that saved her. Apparently the woman had had a miscarriage a day before; the third in a row! Her husband was speaking with the doctor when they noticed the woman had picked up the screaming sick Charlotte and rocked her to sleep in her arms. The woman told Charlotte years later that it was that moment she had fallen in love with the child" Clarisse wiped a single tear from her cheek.

Joseph stopped, helping Clarisse to sit on a garden seat away from prying eyes. He waited for her to continue.

"I just found the story so heart breaking. Charlotte was rather reluctant to tell me about it but I didn't push her. She seemed to want to know who her real mother was…" Clarisse drifted off, looking into the distance thoughtfully.

Joseph stroked her hand gently, which seemed to bring her back to the present.

Clarisse looked into his eyes.

"That is why she approached me, to see if I could help her in her search to find her real mother."

"And can you?" Joseph prompted.

"Well, I don't know. She has asked at the hospital but they don't seem to know any more than she does. I would have to find out her birth date and go from there. Perhaps look at some documents of who was pregnant around that time, you know, from different doctors and nurses…there's only so much I can do" Clarisse murmured, saying more to herself than Joseph.

"If you need any help…" Joseph began to offer but Clarisse cut him off.

"No, I said I would look into it personally. And besides, Charlotte can help me herself for she is definitely capable" Clarisse said hurriedly.

"Well if that's what you want then I can't disobey," Joseph said teasingly.

Clarisse smiled warmly, leaning back onto him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She placed her arms upon his as she gazed at the stars, intertwining her fingers with his.

"Thank you Joseph" she whispered.

"Anything for my queen" he whispered back, glad to have her in his arms and happy to know she was willing to share her troubles with him.

They sat there for some time until Clarisse began to drift off to sleep in his arms.

"I think it is time Her Majesty retired for the night" Joseph murmured in her ear, gently waking her.

"I'm fine here" she murmured back.

Joseph chuckled quietly. Standing slowly he pulled her up with him, placing her on her own feet.

"Come now Clarisse, you must have plenty of sleep so you can start your investigations early tomorrow morning," Joseph said, rubbing her upper arms.

"Oh fine!" Clarisse grumbled, stepping out of his embrace and stretching gracefully.

"Now, now, no need for the nasty attitude, Your Majesty" Joseph chuckled again, amused to see his Queen like this.

Clarisse just playfully glared at him.

"Well goodnight then, Joseph, I shall see you in the morning" she said curtly before turning on her heel and marching off towards the palace.

"Oh no you don't!" Joseph muttered, jogging to catch up with her.

Grabbing her by the hand, Joseph spun her towards him before pressing his lips softly to hers.

"You don't go anywhere without my goodnight kiss" he whispered passionately.

Clarisse just smiled warmly before placing another soft kiss upon his lips, then, spinning away from him, she walked briskly into the palace.

"Goodnight my love" was all Joseph heard as Clarisse disappeared into the palace.

Smiling broadly as if pleased with himself, Joseph headed off to his own room.

The sooner he went to sleep, the sooner he would see her smiling face, was the last thought floating through his mind.

Little did he know that the days ahead would only get rougher…

A.N – well there goes the second chapter. What do you all think so far? Looking forward to reading more? Or am I boring you?


	3. Chapter 3

A.N – I'd just like to say a HUGE thanks to all the reviewers of this story! I really do appreciate reading what you have to say about my writing, even when you're correcting my mistakes! For that is so helpful. 

I would also like to make an apology to Fran330 and any others that may have been disturbed by the rape scene at the start of chapter 1. Unfortunately it wasn't a scene that I could just have someone 'mentioning' or 'remembering' for that would involve describing the character in too much detail. That would give something away, and also, I wanted it from the woman's point of view. So, I truly apologise for any discomfort or pain I might have caused anyone. Please forgive me, I will change things like that in future.

ONE LAST COMMENT – Be careful when making assumptions. After all (as the saying goes) when you ASSUME it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

**Chapter 3 - A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering  
**

_The past carries on…_

The woman walked with her head bowed, pulling the scarf tighter around her head. She didn't want to be recognised here; it would be too dangerous.

If she could just get in to see the doctor and then out again without being seen, she would be fine. Fine, except for the one great burden growing inside of her. If only she had the courage to get an abortion! But she couldn't. She couldn't destroy the life within her that had no choice of being there; it wasn't at fault for what had happened. For all she knew, the child could grow to be very important in society. The child might even find the cure for cancer or something! She had to give the child a chance at life. Whether she was a part of it or not.

No, she wouldn't get an abortion. She would carry out this pregnancy with the highest of secrecy until the child was born.

The woman froze in her tracks.

'Then what?' she thought to herself. What would she do with the child? She couldn't keep it; she had known that from the start. Besides how could she bring up a child that came from such torture? Every time she would look at the child she would be reminded of how it had happened…

Hurrying on before someone noticed her, the woman closed in on her destination. She was sure that when the time came, she would know what to do.

Little did she know that the decision would be much, _much_ harder when the time came.

_Back to the present…_

Joseph was once again strolling down the corridors, whistling a cheerful tune.

The palace staff didn't realise that it was his growing relationship with Clarisse that kept their Head of Security in such high spirits. A few had a slight idea that there was more to the relationship between their Queen and her Head of Security. They had no solid evidence however, so it remained nothing more than a small rumour.

As Joseph moved closer to the door to Her Majesty's office, he could make out soft voices emerging. He could make out two of them but the third was unrecognisable.

Knocking quietly, Joseph waited to be given request to enter. He didn't have to wait long before Charlotte opened the door from the inside. She barely acknowledged his presence before turning around and rejoining the conversation with Clarisse and an elderly man Joseph had never met.

"Ah Joseph" Clarisse said, finally noting he had entered, "I would like you to meet Dr Fitzgerald. He is a private doctor here in Genovia and Charlotte has asked him here for me to make enquiries about her birth. You do remember what we spoke about?"

"Yes, Your Majesty" Joseph bowed his head slightly before turning to the doctor.

"Dr Fitzgerald" Joseph nodded in greeting.

"Dr Fitzgerald, Joseph is my Head of Security and confidant in matters such as these" Clarisse explained, clearly showing she trusted this man entirely.

"Charlotte I hope you don't mind that I informed Joseph of your…situation" Clarisse explained apologetically.

"Of course, Your Majesty" Charlotte nodded, understanding immediately.

"Dr? Do continue" Clarisse prompted.

"Well as I was saying, I cannot tell you anymore until I refer to my patient records. There may not be anything helpful at all, which you may have to accept" the doctor concluded, looking at Charlotte.

"Well anything you can do will be greatly appreciated" Clarisse smiled.

"But tell me, what is your date of birth Ms Charlotte? I will need to know in order to make a proper search" the doctor inquired, pulling out a pen and sheet of paper to take notes.

Joseph was watching all three with interest during this interaction, as they all seemed slightly uncomfortable. It was something he felt upon entering the room.

Clarisse appeared to be avoiding eye contact with the doctor while Charlotte seemed to be shifting on her feet nervously. The doctor himself kept making concerned glances at Clarisse while trying to appear cheerful to Charlotte. Something wasn't right with this situation but Joseph couldn't put his finger on it.

"My date of birth was the seventh of July 1967. Well…that is as far as I know" Charlotte informed the doctor.

Clarisse's eyes widened as if in shock by this information and her eyes immediately snapped to those of the doctors who, for a change, seemed to be purposely avoiding hers. The moment passed and Clarisse was once again looking at Charlotte with interest as if her previous reaction had been non existent. Joseph began to doubt whether he himself had even witnessed it, as Charlotte didn't seem to have noticed.

"Well if that is all then? I'm afraid my documents don't sign themselves" Clarisse chuckled lightly, trying to dismiss the meeting.

"Yes Your Majesty, that is all I need. I shall get back to you once I have more information" the doctor finally made eye contact with Clarisse and there was a moment of silence as their eyes locked briefly.

'What is going on here?' Joseph thought to himself, utterly confused at the exchanges between the doctor and his Queen.

"Of course" Clarisse seemed to recover first, "I shall escort you out to your car".

"Why thank you Your Majesty" the doctor bowed politely.

Joseph opened the door for Clarisse and the doctor to walk through. He waited for Charlotte but she seemed lost in thought as she stared out the window, so Joseph followed Dr Fitzgerald and Clarisse at a respectable distance.

They all walked in silence down the corridor before reaching the outside door. The guards opened the double doors, permitting them all outside into the sunshine.

Joseph stopped atop the stairs while Clarisse walked down to the car with the doctor. She turned to face him and said something while the doctor fiddled with his keys. Joseph found he was out of ear shot so watched their interaction instead.

The doctor finally looked Clarisse in the eyes, replying to her with a sad smile. Clarisse then said something back, almost pleading with her hands stretched out to him. The doctor placed his own hand upon her clasped hands, speaking with an earnest expression. Clarisse seemed to be relieved by what ever he said and dropped her hands, stepping back so the doctor could get into his car.

Once seated, the doctor said a final good bye before closing his door and driving off.

Clarisse remained where she was for a moment, before turning back towards the palace and Joseph.

Walking forward to meet her as she approached, Joseph offered his arm. Taking it in her own, they walked inside. Joseph instantly felt Clarisse relax as they made their way back to her office.

They had moved in silence along the corridors. Clarisse deep in thought while Joseph felt it would be too rude to interrupt. But as they approached her office, Joseph could no longer hide his curiosity.

"If you don't mind me asking…What was that about?" Joseph questioned, jerking his head towards where they had just come from.

Clarisse stopped, sighed deeply, then turned to face Joseph.

"We were just discussing a previous incident with my family that Dr Fitzgerald was involved in" Clarisse stated, looking saddened by the statement.

"That was all?" Joseph asked before he could help himself, "It just seemed to be more…" he tried to amend his outburst.

"Well it wasn't. That is all" Clarisse said curtly, eyes flashing in warning.

"You just seemed to react rather dramatically to Charlotte's birth date – " Joseph started to explain himself.

"Well, if you must know, it was on that exact day that my sister died from a rather long illness. I reacted dramatically because I wasn't there when she died, even though she asked for me" Clarisse explained rather angrily, clearly upset with the conversation.

"Anything you would like to tell me?" Joseph offered, knowing he had somehow over stepped a line.

"No!" Clarisse snapped, clearly annoyed but instantly calming slightly.

"It is personal. There is nothing I wish to inform you of, so if you will excuse me" Clarisse turned abruptly and walked into her office, instantly giving the startled Charlotte orders.

Somehow Joseph knew Clarisse wasn't playing this time…

A.N – Well how was that chapter? Getting better? Worse? Or just moving along nicely? Hahaha more questions for you all now! Just when you thought you might be getting answers! Do review and inform me of all your thoughts! Annette-Rose

PS – I will thank all reviewers personally at the end of this story. I should hopefully have more time then! Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

A.N. – Sorry for not updating sooner but there was a tragedy that occurred last week. Someone close to our family passed away very suddenly and at a young age and my family and I have all felt the great loss. I have had neither the energy nor the time to sit down and write any more. But I'm getting back on my feet so I thought I'd start here with you people. I'm only telling you this so you will have more patience with me. Thank you.

Here is the next instalment. Don't know when the next one will come along, maybe when I'm thinking more clearly.

**Chapter 4 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

_The past that haunts… _

The woman fell back against the pillows in exhaustion, her body covered in sweat. Her face was deeply flushed and crunched up in pain as she tried to get her breathing under control.

"It's alright love, you're almost there!" called the man at her feet. He was also covered in sweat, as well as the blood from the young woman.

"Just one more push and it'll be all over" he said quietly.

The woman pushed herself up onto her elbows again, pushing and breathing deeply.

Her heart was racing. Not only from the long labour, but from fear. What will happen when the child is born? Will the child be alive? Will she herself make it through the night?

There was a sudden release from her body and the woman fell flat on her back. She was exhausted, not to mention barely conscious.

The man was moving around frantically at her feet before she heard a small cry pierce her mind, crashing her down to reality.

She began to cry. Great sobs enveloped her body as the man wrapped something up and moved towards her. Her tears were blinding her as she saw only the blurry outline of the figure moving towards her in the small, dark room. She squeezed her eyes shut, afraid of what she would see.

"It's a girl. You have a beautiful baby girl," the man said, sounding pleased, as he placed the new-born baby in her arms.

The woman remained with her eyes tightly shut, too scared to open them as she felt the warm bundle in her arms. The child felt so warm against her chest and she immediately noticed the crying had ceased. The man was finishing up with the birthing process.

The woman could no longer resist looking at the girl in her arms so began to slowly open her eyes. Would the child look like _him_?

Looking down at the tiny bundle, the woman's eyes clouded over with more tears as she looked into the bright eyes of a blonde haired beauty. How could such a beautiful being come from such a painful sin?

The man walked up to the side of the bed, finished with his cleaning up. He looked down upon the child, placing a gentle hand upon her head.

"Isn't she beautiful?" he murmured, looking at the child's tiny fingers.

"What will you name her?"

The woman shook her head vigorously, squeezing her eyes shut again.

"No!" her voice rasped, "Take her back! I don't – I can't" was all she could manage.

The woman lifted the child up, pushing her towards the man. The man took the child just as the woman broke down in heart wrenching sobs. It was too much for her to handle, and the man could see it. He knew what he had to do as he watched the broken woman before him.

Wrapping the child up warmly, the man left the room with the baby girl held tightly in his arms. Closing the door on the weeping woman, he walked down the abandoned corridor to a quiet spare room where he placed the child carefully on the bed, making sure it was warm and secure. Turning on the light, the man left the door wide open as he walked back down the corridor to the weeping woman.

He had to get her out of the building immediately, before someone noticed and began asking questions.

It was going to be a long night…

_The present races back…_

Joseph was standing on the back balcony watching Clarisse walk aimlessly around the garden.

Something was wrong and he could clearly see it had been bothering her for days, ever since Dr. Fitzgerald had visited the palace. Clarisse had been so quiet over the past week, barely concentrating on each task she was pursuing and she seemed so sadly distant. What ever the memories were that the doctor brought back for her were definitely painful ones.

'What is Clarisse hiding?' Joseph kept asking himself over and over.

Finally making up his mind to approach her, Joseph walked briskly down the steps to where Clarisse had just disappeared behind some trees.

"Clarisse?" Joseph called quietly when he saw her sitting on the edge of the small fountain, looking in.

Clarisse looked up, startled.

"Joseph! Where – how long have you been following me?" Clarisse asked hurriedly, hand pressed to her chest.

"I've been watching you from a distance so thought I needed to come speak to you" Joseph said quietly with a sympathetic smile.

"What is troubling you my dear?" Joseph asked, sitting down beside Clarisse and taking her hand in his.

"Nothing is troubling me, Joseph" Clarisse said automatically and quite convincingly.

Joseph could see right through it, however, so gave her the _'I know you're lying'_ look.

"Clarisse, I have known you long enough and I am observant enough to know that there is _definitely_ something bothering you that has been ever since Dr Fitzgerald was here" Joseph squeezed her hand with one of his while he raised the other to lift her chin.

Looking deep into her eyes, Joseph was pained to see the tears threatening to fall.

"What is it, Clarisse? Please tell me".

Clarisse could no longer take it as she suddenly burst into great sobs. Falling against his body, she pressed her face into his chest, clinging to him with such desperation that almost scared Joseph.

"Oh, Joseph. I just can't do this anymore!" Clarisse cried, her face muffled in his shirt.

Joseph wrapped his arms around Clarisse, holding her close and murmuring comforting words into her ear. She clung onto him for some time before releasing her grip and sitting back to wipe her tears.

"All right, Joseph. I'm ready to talk" Clarisse said in a shaky, broken voice.

She then began to explain what had been occupying her mind the past week and why she was so distraught by it…

A.N. – I'm going to stop here for the chapter is already long enough. I'll get into Clarisse's explanation in the next chapter. There may not be any 'past' memories any longer as the one above is probably the last. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though it was rather depressing. Couldn't be helped I'm afraid.


	5. Chapter 5

A.N. – Thanks to all reviewers. Very much appreciated! Hope all your own stories are going well and your other studies you are pursuing. Here is the next instalment, so I hope it begins to answer some of your questions. If not, please let me know.

**Chapter 5 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

"_Oh, Joseph. I just can't do this anymore!" Clarisse cried, her face muffled in his shirt._

_Joseph wrapped his arms around Clarisse, holding her close and murmuring comforting words into her ear. She clung onto him for some time before releasing her grip and sitting back to wipe her tears._

"_All right, Joseph. I'm ready to talk" Clarisse said in a shaky, broken voice._

_She then began to explain what had been occupying her mind the past week and why she was so distraught by it…_

Sitting up straight, Clarisse took several deep breaths before beginning.

"Now, I told you that my sister, Marie, suffered a long illness until she passed away on the seventh of July, 1967?" Clarisse asked.

Joseph nodded, urging her to continue.

"Well, she and I were very close. We shared everything together and were often mistaken for twins, even though she was a year younger than I was. When we found out about her illness, we were both shattered. I think we found out in early 1966 so she fought her illness for over a year.

"Anyway, I was Queen by then with Pierre at the age of 7 and Phillippe age 5. I contacted as many specialists from around the world as I could and they all tried to help. At times we thought she was getting well but then she would just go down hill again. Each Doctor told us the same thing; she was dying quickly and there was nothing we could do about it."

Clarisse took a deep shuddering breath, clasping Joseph's hand tightly in her own.

"So we waited. It seemed liked months that we just sat by waiting for the inevitable, but there was nothing else to be done. I made sure she was always comfortable and was always there for her, even with the duty of Queen forever hanging over me. It was hard but we managed it.

"The boys loved Marie. They were always found with her in the palace when they had completed their duties for the day. I don't think they understood that she was dying, to them she was just always tired and just didn't do the physical things that others did. She was the best aunt in the world!"

Clarisse's eyes began to fill with tears again at the thought of her children with their Aunt Marie. Joseph could see her pain so began to rub small comforting circles on the back of her hand. She relaxed ever so slightly, plunging back into the story.

"A couple of months before her death, I myself became very busy with my duties and also became ill from over working" Joseph couldn't help but share Clarisse's knowing smile at this comment. He often told her she worked too hard.

"I was confined to my quarters for all of June, with only the doctor coming to visit. Not even my own children could see me! It was during this time that I heard Marie was getting much worse.

"This news only made my illness worse so I was admitted to a private part of the hospital for a couple of weeks at the end of June and the start of July 1967. I was staying stable but was not allowed any visitors.

"It was on the fifth of July that the doctor told me Marie had been asking for me. I longed to go see her but the doctor advised me against it and I knew myself that I couldn't go back to the palace. I sent word that I would come and see her the next week when I would be released back into the palace care. I never realised just how ill she was. I didn't realise I would never get back in time."

Clarisse now had tears pouring down her face, not bothering to attempt to stem the flow. She was staring off into the distance, letting the painful memories play freely through her mind.

"It was the night of the seventh of July, 1967. I was suffering a very high fever and the doctor had to stay by my side for hours, keeping me conscious. It wasn't until the fever had passed near midnight that word was passed to the doctor that Marie had passed away. She had died right at the climax of my fever."

Clarisse broke down into silent sobs, pushing Joseph away when he tried to embrace her.

"She was asking for me the whole time! She needed me Joseph, and I wasn't there for her! The last word she spoke was my name and I wasn't there to hear it! What kind of sister am I!" Clarisse was hysterical now, fighting Joseph's firm hold and kicking out her feet.

Joseph had never seen her so upset. It was bad even seeing this strong woman cry, but being so hysterical? It was a nightmare come true. Joseph was thankful no one else was around to witness it.

"Clarisse, love, please calm down" Joseph soothed, wrapping his arms more tightly around her.

"No!" she screamed, punching his chest in her emotional pain. Joseph just gripped her tighter, even when they fell off the side of the fountain onto the ground.

When they hit the ground, Clarisse ceased her struggles and just sobbed uncontrollably onto his shoulder.

"Your Majesty!" a voice suddenly exclaimed.

It was Shades closely followed by two other guards. Joseph was annoyed, to say the least, that they had heard her scream but grateful that they weren't as useless as he thought.

"You two!" he barked at the two guards who were staring in disbelief at their broken down queen. They snapped to attention immediately.

"Go and inform Charlotte that Her Majesty will be taking the rest of the afternoon off. She will continue with her duties tomorrow" Joseph ordered and the two guards immediately ran off.

"Shades, help me get her up" Joseph asked quietly, not wanting to startle Clarisse too much.

The two men got Clarisse up and helped her back to her quarters in the palace. Placing her gently upon the couch, Joseph turned to Shades once more.

"Inform the guards outside the suite that Her Majesty is not to be disturbed and not to enter under any circumstances."

At Shades' look of surprise Joseph added, "I will be here with her. You are in charge of all other situations outside this room for the rest of the evening. Understood?" Joseph asked.

Shades nodded before leaving to carry out his orders.

Joseph turned to Clarisse once they were alone and watched silently as she pressed her face into the couch arm, sobbing uncontrollably.

Sitting down beside her, Joseph pulled Clarisse into his arms, and began to rub her back soothingly. Clarisse wrapped her arms around Joseph's waist, pressing her wet face into his chest. She had calmed down significantly and was now beginning to drift off to sleep.

Joseph just sat back, letting her rest against him as he held her tightly. He would stay here the whole night if he had to.

As Clarisse fell into a deep sleep, Joseph pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

"Rest well, my love" he whispered, his voice the only sound heard above Clarisse's deep breathing.

A.N. – Well there is another chapter. Have all your questions been answered? I don't think so…

The next chapter isn't far away so review and tell me what you think! Cheers! Annette-Rose.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer** – Why do I keep forgetting to do this? Ok, the characters don't belong to me, neither PD movies belong to me, I just play with the story line and create my own little worlds of Clarisse and Joseph romances…

**A.N.** – I'm working on this as fast as I can! Even though I should be studying for exams! Oh how naughty of me! Do enjoy this chapter!

**A.N 2** – Any references to crossroads in this chapter are taken from Michael Phillips' novel "Kings Crossroads". Very awesome novel!

**Chapter 6 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

"_She was asking for me the whole time! She needed me Joseph, and I wasn't there for her! The last word she spoke was my name and I wasn't there to hear it! What kind of sister am I!"_

Clarisse's words were echoing in Joseph's mind, as they had been for the past few hours.

He hadn't slept; his mind was too preoccupied. How could Clarisse blame herself for such a thing? She couldn't help being so ill when her sister was dying! Marie would surely have understood.

Clarisse had to stop blaming herself!

Besides, it had been years since Marie's death so why was Clarisse still so traumatised over it? Why did she react so hysterically tonight? Had she been keeping it all inside for that long without releasing how she felt? Joseph could see her doing that…but for it to still be so raw within her? Surely not.

Somehow, there had to be more to this than Clarisse was letting on…

Clarisse stirred in Joseph's arms and he knew it was time to transfer her to her own bed. They would both regret it in the morning if they stayed cramped up on the couch.

Stroking the side of her face, he called to her softly.

"Clarisse…wake up, dear…"

Suddenly, without warning, Clarisse whipped open her eyes and jumped back from his embrace. She lost balance on the side of the couch, toppling to the floor before Joseph even realised what was happening.

"No!" she exclaimed hoarsely, her voice failing her.

If it weren't for the fear in her eyes, Joseph would have laughed at Clarisse's reaction. But something was terribly wrong here…

Clarisse scrambled back, away from Joseph as he reached out for her, confusion written all over her face.

"Clarisse, darling, what is it?" he soothed, hurt by her reaction.

He thought she would have calmed down after her rest, but she seemed even worse. Even if she was silent. Joseph was growing more confused each moment. An overwhelming sense of apprehension was settling over him.

'What is going on here?' was a thought emerging from his shocked mind.

"No…" she whispered. Her shaky voice was barely audible through her fear.

Instantly, she was on her feet and darting for the main door into the suite. Before she even made a few steps, Joseph was there, holding her back. He had snapped out of his moment of shock.

The last thing he needed right now was to have to chase Clarisse all over the palace. Who knows where she would go and how long it would take to find her?

"Let me go!" Clarisse gasped, struggling vainly in Joseph's firm grip.

"Clarisse, sweetheart, what is it? Why are you afraid of me?" Joseph begged for an explanation for her completely out-of-character behaviour.

Clarisse was trembling uncontrollably by now, whimpering quietly.

All of a sudden, Clarisse just collapsed taking Joseph down with her, landing painfully on the lush carpet.

Joseph tightened his grip, pulling her onto his lap. Why was she reacting in such a way? What did he do to cause her to become so hysterical again?

"Please…not again…I'll do anything…just don't – don't do it to me again…" Clarisse whimpered, tears streaming out from under closed eyelids.

"Do what Clarisse? I don't understand" Joseph tried to console her, begging for understanding at the same time.

Clarisse had ceased struggling against him. She slumped against his chest, her trembling slowly disappearing.

"Don't…" Clarisse sighed so quietly, Joseph almost didn't catch it.

"Don't what, Clar-" Joseph began, but stopped when he realised she had fallen asleep again.

Clutching her as close to him as he could, Joseph pressed his lips to her forehead. She had shaken him more than he cared to admit. Her reaction frightened him so much that he could feel unshed tears prickling behind his eyelids.

"What is going on?" Joseph whispered to no one in particular.

OoOoOoOoOo

Joseph awoke as he felt Clarisse wriggling in his arms.

He had moved them back onto the couch again a few hours previously, after Clarisse appeared to be sleeping deeply once again.

Joseph knew after Clarisse's outburst that he couldn't just put her to bed and leave her. He had to stay with her; she needed him even if Clarisse herself didn't even realise it. If that meant spending the next couple of days with stiff joints from being cramped on the couch, then so be it.

Joseph opened his eyes and looked down on Clarisse. She was snuggled up to him, splayed out on the couch, with her head pressed against his chest.

He could see her eyes slowly flickering open.

Clarisse lifted her head, looking around the room through bleary eyes, before settling her confused gaze upon Joseph.

"How – " she croaked before clearing her throat.

"How did we get in here? What – what happened last night?" Clarisse asked.

Joseph's eyes widened in shock as he realised that she remembered nothing of last night's struggle.

"Shades and I brought you in, remember?" Joseph asked, feeling as confused as she looked.

"No…I – I only remember talking to you out at the fountain and then – then – nothing…" Clarisse finished, clearly shaken by her confused memory.

Joseph then explained what had happened only hours before, including her sudden outburst and fear of him.

"What were you talking about Clarisse?" Joseph asked carefully and gently.

"What were you so upset about?"

Clarisse opened her mouth as if to explain but just closed it again, turning her face away from him. Joseph sat them both up, facing Clarisse on the couch.

"Did someone do something to you Clarisse? Please tell me love, I just want to help. I couldn't bare to see you in so much pain last night, it tore my heart" Joseph rushed, pleading as he took her hands in his.

"Please tell me…it's killing me seeing you in so much pain and not knowing what to do" Joseph finished in a whisper.

"It's nothing" Clarisse whispered back, still avoiding his penetrating gaze.

"Don't lie to me, Clarisse" Joseph said bluntly, cringing at the harshness of his words.

Clarisse looked at him sharply, opening her mouth to retort but Joseph spoke over her.

"Don't you dare tell me that what I witnessed last night was nothing. I know you are hiding something from me and I know it's something big" Joseph was not going to side-step issues with Clarisse any longer.

"I also understand that you are not one to share emotions or show fear but it is me you are talking to here. You can trust me Clarisse. I'm not going to reject you; I'm not going to announce it to the world. I'm just going to help you - " Joseph reached up and wiped the tears from Clarisse's face.

"- Comfort you, and … love you" he finished with a warm smile.

"Joseph…you don't understand…" Clarisse tried to turn away but Joseph's strong hand turned her back to him.

"Then help me to understand. Explain it for me" he murmured, pleading.

Clarisse sat there, an internal battle clearly visible through her shimmering eyes.

They sat like that for more than ten minutes, Clarisse fighting for an inner solution to what she was facing but clearly getting nowhere with it. Joseph was rubbing small circles on her hands with his thumbs, an ever-present presence.

Looking into her fearful features, Joseph cleared his throat before speaking.

"Crossroads come when everything hangs in the balance.

"The past climaxes to a single moment. The future stretches ahead undetermined. Between the two sits only the _now_. The direction the future will take depends on our choices as we stand in that eternal moment of present decision. " Joseph paused, looking into Clarisse's eyes as she stared at him.

"Every _now_ contains infinite potential for hope, for new direction, for a fresh start…and for change.

"Clarisse, do not be afraid to share things with me. Do not be fearful of how I will react; what right do I have to be judgmental?

"My life has not contained perfect, tidy resolutions to every situation I have faced. Most real situations don't. Clarisse, we do not live in a fairy tale, we live in life.

"Talk to me, share your troubles with me. I am here to listen; I am here to help. So please let me" Joseph lifted his other hand to her face so it was cupped between his hands.

"Tell me what is weighing so heavy on your heart."

Clarisse's eyes had filled with tears again at his words but Joseph could tell that she had resolved her internal battle.

"All right Joseph. I am ready to talk" Clarisse whispered, steadily holding his gaze.

Joseph lowered his hands, giving her space as she collected her thoughts.

**A.N** – oh that was a cruel place to end it wasn't it? But if I'd continued that chapter would have gone on forever! I'm trying to get as much as I can written, but with exams quickly approaching it's hard to find time. So bear with me please! Do review, as you've all been so helpful! Annette-Rose :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer – **Um…look at the previous chapter (chapter 6) for disclaimer. Remember…only the story line belongs to me.

**A.N. –** Ok, so I'm trying to write this as fast as I can without missing out on too much study or sleep. Both are extremely important! Hope this fiction isn't too boring or dragging along too slowly; I try my best to keep it going good! Here is the next instalment for all readers and reviewers! Please leave me a review at the end! It's the only satisfaction I get from sharing my work…sad huh? ANYWAYS!

**Chapter 7 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

Joseph sat silently as he watched Clarisse take several deep breaths, calming herself down.

He could tell she was shaking as he watched her fiddling with the rings on her fingers with her hands in her lap. She was clearly very nervous and shaken by the situation, proving to Joseph that it was very serious.

Never had he seen her react to anything in such a way.

"Alright Joseph" Clarisse spoke clearly, despite her trembling body.

"Where do I start?" she asked, making eye contact and keeping a steady gaze.

"I believe one should start from the beginning, as they often find they have to go back there if they start partway down the track. It would save yourself some time and save me much confusion" Joseph replied quietly, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Oh Joseph, you tease" Clarisse replied, smiling sadly.

They sat in silence for a short moment, each preparing themselves with what was to come.

'What is Clarisse going to reveal?' Joseph kept asking himself, afraid of the answer.

"I guess it started in October of 1966. As I told you last night my sister was very ill during this time. She was very sick and I was caring for her as well as my two boys. Hard work, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now she was staying in the palace by this time but still had her awful partner hanging around her home out in the country. He was a ghastly man! Always mistreating Marie, drinking heavily and prone to violence when angered. He was making her much worse but just wouldn't leave.

"Now, Marie needed to go and collect some medical documents and personal items from home, but I insisted she stay put and we send someone else. Marie of course, being stubborn like myself, refused to let someone she didn't know collect them. So, we made a deal. She would stay put if I went to get them personally with a driver to drop me off then collect me later on when I called for them. Rupert insisted I take a body guard, or some form of security but I refused. Who could possibly find me in an isolated cottage in the countryside of Genovia?

"So I didn't and went by myself with only the driver to take me there. With Marie's best interests in mind, I set off to collect her things from her small cottage" Clarisse paused, wringing her hands together.

"What I didn't expect, but should have, was Marie's violent partner. Mike" Joseph could almost swear that she had just spat the name.

"The driver escorted me to the entrance of the cottage where I excused him, informing him to return to the palace. I told him I may take quite some time to find the things, but I also wanted to sort a few things out myself".

Joseph reached out, taking Clarisse's shaking hands into his own, trying to provide some comfort. Clarisse looked up when they made contact, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I didn't even know he was there until I had left all my things in the hall and made my way to the main bedroom.

"I walked in to find him heading straight for me. I had barely acknowledged his presence before he knocked me over the head, shoving me to the ground"

Clarisse was shaking uncontrollably now, and she withdrew her hands from Joseph's hold. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, Clarisse continued.

"I tried to get up but he had hit me so hard that my vision was blurred.

"All of a sudden he stumbled over me, swearing as he crashed down upon my body. I could smell the alcohol on his breath just before he struggled to his feet again, and I immediately knew I was in trouble.

"I don't know how he managed it, but…somehow he had the – the strength to pick me up and – and throw me on the – the bed!"

Clarisse broke. The tears overflowed and poured down her face as she broke into painful sobs. Joseph reached out to her and she immediately fell into his arms. He held her tightly as she clutched at his chest; her body slumped against him.

She didn't even need to say the cursed words for Joseph to understand what happened next. She had been raped. A sudden urge to mortally harm that man surged through Joseph, making his eyes darken. But he calmed himself down, telling himself that now was not the time to lose control. He needed to be there for Clarisse now more than anyone had ever before.

Clarisse had calmed down slightly, enough to continue talking, though the tears were still pouring down her face.

"If only I had asked the driver to stay, or taken Rupert's advice in taking a body guard with me! They would have heard the commotion and done something about it" Clarisse snuggled into Joseph's embrace, groaning at her stubborn decision of the past.

"Clarisse…" Joseph spoke for the first time in all her storytelling.

"Did you call for security? Did you get help?"

"Only afterwards Joseph, and by that time Mike had realised what he had done and shot himself" Clarisse whispered.

"By the time Rupert and his security had arrived, I had cleaned myself up somewhat and thrown out all the…evidence of what he had done to me. I don't know why I did that. I could have just told Rupert…but…I was ashamed. It showed me as weak and vulnerable, something I never admit to. So I kept it all to myself.

"As far as everyone was concerned, Mike had just given me a short beating before realising he had abused the Queen. Being so distraught from this revelation, he promptly went outside and shot himself.

"As I was the only witness and the accused was dead, my word was the spoken truth. They just didn't realise that something was indeed missing…" Clarisse was becoming more stable and relaxed and so sat up opposite Joseph again. She wiped away the tears and blew her nose.

"Oh Clarisse…" Joseph said compassionately, running his hand down her face.

"You've kept this to yourself all this time. Why?"

"I don't know. I was too afraid at the start and it soon became so big that it was vital it remained a secret. You see…it didn't end there" Clarisse's eyes bored into Joseph, taking all his attention.

"What I've been thinking about ever since Dr Fitzgerald visited was what I actually began to notice in the start of November that same year. It wasn't the Dr that came to the palace to see Marie; it was me who went in search of him myself.

"Things were not going well for me. I was constantly ill and depressed, something the rest of the palace put down to my incident at the cottage. How right they were, in part.

"I disguised myself, covering up from head to toe, and sneaked out of the palace. I walked into town to a clinic I had heard the maids talking about one day. Apparently the Dr there was very good and kept all information confidential. So I thought I would pay him a visit.

"Dr Fitzgerald was of course shocked to see me there but I made him swear to keep it all confidential, even explaining partly what had happened. He was very good to me and immediately vowed to help me in any way he could without being found out. So he ran some tests, and we both prayed my suspicions would be wrong, even though we both knew it was in vain.

"Well my suspicions turned out to be correct" Clarisse paused, Joseph clutching her hand in tense silence.

Clarisse looked up, fresh tears flowing down her face from eyes showing such deep pain and sadness that Joseph could almost feel it ripping his heart to shreds.

"I was pregnant."

OoOoOoOo

Clarisse's revelation had taken so much out of her that she had not long after cried herself to sleep. Joseph had stayed with her, holding her tightly to him, whispering comforting words into her ear even as she slept soundly.

He had known something was troubling her, but nothing to the extent of what she had just told him. He couldn't believe what she had been through all those years ago and all the years since. She must have felt so alone!

Joseph told himself to treat Dr Fitzgerald with utmost respect from then on. That man had helped Clarisse so much and kept it all in the shadows so that not even the hospital knew what had happened. What a situation…

Joseph now understood everything. The real reason why Clarisse was admitted to hospital; her pain in not being able to be with her dying sister, especially at a time when they both needed each other desperately; and why Clarisse had acted so strange when speaking with Dr Fitzgerald when he was at the palace. It wasn't a fever that Clarisse had suffered when Marie had passed away; it was childbirth.

But what had happened to her child? Joseph had an idea of what had happened to Clarisse's baby girl, whether she was ready to except it or not.

Joseph began to waken Clarisse as he saw the time of day and realised it wouldn't be much longer till they would be interrupted again by Clarisse's 'duties'. They needed to finish this talk, even if Joseph knew it was cruel to wake Clarisse and make her tell the rest of the dark tale.

Clarisse's eyes fluttered open, and Joseph apologised for waking her but also explained why he had. They needed to get this over with.

It was time to completely open the wound.

_'And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day_

_But I promise you you'll see the sun again._

_And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness_

_And I promise you you'll see the sun again.'_

_Dido – See the Sun._

**A.N. – **Ok so here is the end of this chapter. What do you think? Good? Bad? I hope it isn't too bad because I did this instead of studying more for my exam tomorrow morning. Naughty me! But then it was a late update…the next chapter will be posted within the next…4 days! I promise!

Until then, adios!

Annette-Rose


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N. – **First of all, note to oneself: never make promises you can't keep. I'm sorry for promising to update within 4 days when it's already been about 6 days. It was a premature decision that I wish I hadn't made. Been too much to do with exams and all. So I truly and deeply apologise for not keeping my promise and you have every right to tell me off for it.

You know what to do for the disclaimer…(hint for those who don't: look at previous chapter).

**Chapter 8 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

_Joseph began to waken Clarisse as he saw the time of day and realised it wouldn't be much longer till they would be interrupted again by Clarisse's 'duties'. They needed to finish this talk, even if Joseph knew it was cruel to wake Clarisse and make her tell the rest of the dark tale._

_Clarisse's eyes fluttered open, and Joseph apologised for waking her but also explained why he had. They needed to get this over with. _

_It was time to completely open the wound._

Clarisse breathed deeply, exhaling loudly as she sat up once again.

Joseph could see how the past few hours had taken their toll upon his Queen. Her eyes were red and puffy and her features clearly showed her exhaustion from the sadness weighing upon her heart.

Guilt from waking her swept over Joseph but he knew it was for the best. They had to discuss what had happened after Clarisse realised she was pregnant, what had happened after the child's birth. Did King Rupert, may he rest in peace, ever find out?

"Joseph?" Clarisse's voice broke through his thoughts, drawing him back to the present.

"What do you want to know?" she asked wearily.

"I want to know the rest of the story Clarisse, you need to tell me what happened to your child" Joseph said quietly.

"Why?" Clarisse groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"You need to talk about this Clarisse. You need to get it out of your system, to release this secret you have kept hidden from all those around you for so long" Joseph said, stroking her hair comfortingly, willing her to understand.

Clarisse remained silent for some time so Joseph decided to help her get started again.

"Did King Rupert ever find out? Did you tell him after you had the child? Did the child survive?" Joseph almost had to physically shut his own mouth to stop all the questions tumbling out.

Clarisse barely noticed him bursting with questions as she raised her head to look him in the eyes.

"No, Rupert never did find out. Well…as far as I know. Nobody except the doctor and I ever knew I gave birth to a little girl that night. You are now the only other person who I have told" Clarisse told him softly.

"But, I have no idea if the child survived or not. I was too upset to even acknowledge I had a baby when she was born, and the doctor carried out his orders of taking the child away. As far as I know she was left safely in the hospital for the other doctors and nurses to take care of. It was the best thing to do, I couldn't take her to the palace so I couldn't keep her and the doctor couldn't take her. Adopting out wasn't an option because that meant filling out forms which would identify me as her mother. I don't think of it as abandoning her, rather leaving her in safe and loving arms" Clarisse was rambling, trying to justify her actions.

"Clarisse" Joseph spoke over her; "it's ok. You don't have to justify your actions to me, I understand why you did what you did."

"You do? You don't think it was horrible to just leave her there with no identity and no family?" Clarisse asked worriedly, clearly distressed and upset with her actions all that time ago.

"No. It must have been awful to do and it is upsetting that she was left with nothing" here Clarisse choked back a sob, "but there was nothing else to be done. Like you said, you couldn't take her to the palace and if you wanted to keep your secret, you couldn't do anything else but what you did.

"It's ok Clarisse. You did the best thing you could for your child" Joseph finished, holding Clarisse tightly to him as he rocked her back and forth. She was silently weeping, tears coursing down her cheeks from the pain of her past.

Joseph held her for some time, letting her release her pain before he continued with the questioning. She obviously didn't really know what had happened to her child, or even where she was on this day.

"Clarisse?" Joseph asked after she had ceased crying.

She sat up, moving out of his arms slightly so she could make eye contact with him. She nodded for him to continue.

"Is it possible that you have a slight idea of who your baby girl is?" Joseph knew he was asking a lot of Clarisse in these few hours they had been talking, but he also knew it was better to get it all over with immediately so they could put her life back together before moving on.

Clarisse averted her gaze at this question, more suffering showing on her beautiful face.

"Clarisse, is it possible that Charlotte is your daughter?" Joseph asked softly, waiting in silence for a reaction from Clarisse.

Instead of bursting into tears, and denying it (as Joseph had almost expected), Clarisse looked up into his eyes with her own clear blue ones shining with more tears.

"I think it is possible, Joseph. Both our stories match up, the birth dates are the same, and even the hospital where Dr Fitzgerald left her is the same."

Clarisse was clearly distressed by this but she didn't dissolve into tears. Rather, she leant back against the couch, stared at the floor, and sighed deeply before closing her eyes.

"What am I going to tell her Joseph? She is searching for her birth parents, determined to find them. How am I going to explain to her that I am her mother? What will she do when she finds out how she was created? How would any person react to being a result of such a sin?" Clarisse was whispering with her eyes shut, begging Joseph to resolve the situation for her.

"Maybe some things are meant to be left a secret" Joseph offered quietly.

Clarisse opened her eyes and looked at him, brow creased slightly in her confusion.

"Do you mean that I don't tell her anything?" Clarisse asked.

Joseph merely nodded.

"But she will continue looking. Won't she be a little surprised if I just give up just like that? I never give up on anything I set my mind to; you know that. And I promised that I would help her find her parents in every way possible."

Joseph shrugged.

"Then continue to 'help' her search but don't let her find out the truth. If no one knows that you gave birth that night, and the doctor hasn't got it on record or told anyone himself, then how can she know? She will soon find herself at a dead end and give up" Joseph explained, willing Clarisse to see what he meant.

"I suppose…but…I feel so awful deceiving her like that!" Clarisse exclaimed.

"Would you rather she found out the truth?" Joseph asked carefully.

"No! But…there must be a better way! Can't we just keep her busy with palace work and other activities so she is distracted and doesn't continue her work?" Clarisse asked hopefully, grabbing Joseph's hand.

"We are both talking about the same Charlotte, are we not?" Joseph asked, touched that Clarisse was so unwilling to deceive Charlotte like he had suggested.

"Yes I suppose you're right. Charlotte wouldn't be detoured that easily…" Clarisse murmured, smiling slightly.

Joseph shared her smile, thinking how similar Charlotte was to Clarisse when it came to doing things thoroughly and often overworking. How similar the two were in both outward appearance _and_ behaviour or personalities.

"So what will you do, my dear?" Joseph finally asked, breaking the silence.

"I will help her continue her search but I won't tell her what I know. I will not reveal the identity of her mother to her and especially not how she came to be in this world" Clarisse said with some difficult finality.

Clarisse fell forward into Joseph's arms and was just getting comfortable when the phone beside the couch began to ring.

"I knew that was coming" Clarisse mumbled into Joseph's chest, making no indication of answering it.

"Would you like me to get it?" Joseph asked, reaching for the phone.

Clarisse nodded.

Lifting the phone off the hook, Joseph was about to put it up to his ear when Clarisse sat up and promptly took it off him, answering it herself.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice feigning strength and command.

Joseph sat and listened to his Clarisse's end of the discussion. It appeared to be someone asking after Her Majesty and whether she would be continuing her duties this morning. Clarisse seemed to be telling the person that yes she was going to be out within the hour to continue with her duties and appointments.

Joseph was again taken by how strong this woman before him could be. After going through such emotional turmoil all night and getting practically no sleep, she was ready and determined to get back out there. Where did she find the strength to do it?

Clarisse hung up the phone and stood up before facing Joseph again.

"Looks like we're back into it" Joseph commented, rising from the couch also.

"Yes" Clarisse stated before stepping into Joseph's embrace once more.

"Thank you for being here for me Joseph. Thank you for staying with me all last night and making me 'spill the beans'. You were right; I did need to share my secret with someone, especially a loved one" Clarisse murmured, her face buried in his chest.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Clarisse" Joseph kissed the top of her head.

Clarisse stepped out of his embrace, checked her watch and then both mentally and physically composed herself before making eye contact with him.

"I am going to shower and clean myself up before I head out, so I suggest you head back to your quarters to do likewise before going on duty" Clarisse instructed Joseph.

"Yes, of course" Joseph replied, smiling at the fact that she still managed to give orders on such a small issue.

"Will you be alright?" he asked carefully, not wanting to cause her any more trouble.

"I have survived this long Joseph, I'm sure I can continue to do likewise" Clarisse stated, smiling at his obvious concern.

"But thank you. I will see you after breakfast in my office."

Joseph nodded, moving off to the door to carry out his subtle orders. Before he opened the door Clarisse was calling to him.

"Joseph?"

He turned to face her again, seeing her smiling softly at him.

"I really do appreciate what you did for me last night. I will never forget it" she said, keeping eye contact from across the room.

"Anytime Clarisse. It was the least I could do and I wanted to help" Joseph said earnestly.

They both nodded their thanks to each other before Joseph turned once more and left the suite.

As he walked down the corridor, he exhaled deeply. She was going to be all right. She trusted him now and could rely on him for comfort and support. She would continue to share her concerns and worries with him, no matter how big.

With this in mind, Joseph strode down to his room to start the day.

**A.N.** – what do you think? Should Charlotte find out or not? I will continue the story to how the majority of you want it to go. Ok? So please all review and let me know how you think it should go. I already have some half-formed thoughts…

**Annette-Rose.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N. – **Well you have all confirmed what I wanted to do with this story so that worked out well. The story will now unfold along the lines of the replies and reviews I got from all of you so I hope it stays to your liking (luckily it's also what I wanted to write so it should unfold quite nicely!). I'm really enjoying writing this story and especially enjoying the helpful reviews from all of you. I really appreciate what you're doing for me. Big hugs coming your way!

This chapter is from Charlotte's point of view. This may be the case for the next chapter also.

Disclaimer…come on, be serious! Do you really think I own these characters? Or the PD world? Come off it and get your facts straight!

**Chapter 9 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

It had been almost a week since Clarisse had told Joseph the truth about her past. So far no one had asked about the Queen's breakdown, or what had gone on in her suite for all the time after that. All had been respectfully quiet.

Joseph was continuing with his work, organising security for this and that while Queen Clarisse continued with her own duties. Neither had been left alone with Charlotte long enough for her to start asking questions about how the search for her parents was going. Charlotte found that whenever she had time to see the Queen about it, Clarisse would either be too busy or retiring for the night.

It was on this evening that Charlotte decided that she needed to get back onto the search. She just couldn't continue with her duties properly until she had some answers.

Walking to Clarisse's suite, Charlotte found only Olivia saying that Her Majesty had taken Maurice for a quick walk. Frustrated, Charlotte headed out to the gardens in search of her Queen.

Wandering through the gardens whilst looking for Queen Clarisse, Charlotte reflected on the search so far.

Dr. Fitzgerald had phoned Charlotte earlier that day to report that he had nothing on a child being born on the day she had specified. The only record he came across was that of Charlotte's adopted parents having a stillborn. Nothing more and no ideas of who could have been Charlotte's birth parents.

Charlotte was clearly confused with this but put it down to someone giving birth to a child off the record and maybe even out of the hospital. However, this put forth the problem of who had left her, as a new-born baby, in a hospital room without any I.D?

All these questions seemed to be confusing Charlotte more and more that she knew the only choice she now had was to involve Her Majesty in the search again. That was why she was searching for Clarisse.

A dog's bark brought Charlotte out of her thoughts as she rounded a corner. Listening more carefully, she could hear a dog's playful bark once more. It appeared to be somewhere just ahead of her.

As Charlotte moved forward faster, she rounded a corner to see Queen Clarisse wandering slowly amongst the roses while Maurice explored the garden just ahead of her.

"Your Majesty" Charlotte announced herself, not wanting to startle her Queen.

Clarisse turned, surprised to be addressed by Charlotte outdoors and at such an hour.

"Charlotte? What can I do for you?" Clarisse asked.

"I was wondering if you have had time lately to look into the search of my parents" Charlotte asked, deciding to get straight to the point.

"No, I'm afraid I have not. I will get onto it as soon as I can, that you can be sure" Clarisse answered with a smile.

Charlotte smiled back before Clarisse's smile faltered as she looked away. Charlotte frowned; something was wrong. Perhaps Clarisse had still not managed to get back onto her feet since her breakdown almost a week ago.

Charlotte still had no idea what had happened but felt it was not her business to ask. As long as Joseph knew what was going on and he was making sure all was well with the Queen then Charlotte needn't worry.

"Charlotte? Sit with me?" Clarisse asked her, bringing her back to the present.

Charlotte nodded before sitting down in the gazebo with Her Majesty. She shifted uncomfortably as she found Clarisse studying her carefully and silently. She averted her eyes to Maurice's leash that Clarisse was holding while the dog bounced freely around them.

"Tell me, Charlotte, how long are you going to search for your birth parents?" the question took Charlotte by such surprise that she stared at Clarisse for a moment.

"Well…for as long as it takes for me to get answers" Charlotte said with a frown.

She could swear Clarisse was trying to avoid her gaze. Why had Her Majesty been acting so strange around her lately?

"Ah yes, I thought so" Clarisse said quietly, leaning back and looking out over the gardens and at the darkening sky.

"How is the search going?" Clarisse asked without looking at Charlotte.

"Not as good as I'd hoped. The hospital still hasn't turned anything up and Dr Fitzgerald didn't have much to say either" Charlotte reported, noting how Clarisse had snapped her eyes back to Charlotte at the mention of the Dr.

"You have spoken with Dr Fitzgerald since he was here last?" Her Majesty asked, her gaze staying on Charlotte for once. Her eyes were boring into the younger woman's.

"Yes, he rang earlier today when you were with Parliament" Charlotte replied, confused by her Queen's behaviour.

"What did he have to say?" Clarisse asked immediately.

Charlotte could see how tense Her Majesty had become and couldn't help thinking she was hiding something. 'What's going on here?' she kept thinking.

"Not much actually, just that he had nothing on record about any births in the hospital, or that he knew of, around my birthday. Except for my adopted mothers' stillborn" Charlotte explained, watching Her Majesty carefully.

Queen Clarisse seemed to relax after this explanation, which confused Charlotte even more. She brushed her confusion and suspecting thoughts aside; she was just too anxious in finding out more information that her mind was reading too much into things.

"Well that's a shame. He was our top source. We'll just have to look into other areas. How about we start the search anew tomorrow morning?" Her Majesty asked.

"Yes, that would be wonderful" Charlotte beamed. She would soon have the answers and be even closer to finding her birth mother.

Queen Clarisse was standing up now, putting Maurice back in his leash. Charlotte stood also, preparing to be dismissed from Her Majesties presence.

"I will turn in now Charlotte as it is getting late and Maurice has had enough of the outdoors for today. However before you go, I should inform you that Pierre rang earlier this evening to say he was coming to visit for a few days. He will be arriving tomorrow evening" Queen Clarisse informed her.

"I will make the necessary arrangements then shall I?" Charlotte asked.

"Of course" Queen Clarisse nodded her approval, "goodnight Charlotte".

"Goodnight Your Majesty" Charlotte smiled.

Queen Clarisse smiled back, looking at Charlotte for a moment before moving off towards her suite in the palace. Charlotte followed, making her way to her own rooms.

She couldn't help but feel excited for the next few days. She was going to have the help of her Queen again in the search of her birth parents, and she was going to meet Prince Pierre. Although she was born in Genovia, she had moved to the USA when in her early childhood years with her adopted parents so that she had no memory of the Royal Family. Until she came to work at the palace a couple of years ago, she hadn't returned to the USA.

She had heard much of Prince Pierre, that he was a very kind soul and always put others before himself. So much like Clarisse that Charlotte knew she would like the Prince as soon as they met.

Preparing for bed, Charlotte mentally ticked off what needed to be done before the Prince arrived and who needed to be informed. But all that could wait, right now what she needed most was sleep.

The next few days would come quickly enough.

**A.N. – **Well isn't it getting interesting? I think I'm going to have the next few chapters from Charlotte's point of view because it's the most effective. Please give me a review and let me know how I'm doing!

Fluffy cloud passing across the sky…look at me, I'm potential rain!


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N. – **Wow! I am so loving writing this story! I'm so excited about these next few chapters! Remember that this one is from Charlotte's point of view.

**Disclaimer** - don't own it so don't blame me for having fun playing with the story line!

Recommended activity for the week: Have a sleep over out under the stars. If you think it's fun with your family, try it with your friends! Best time is when the sky is clear but it's more invigorating when there are some clouds because you never know when it's going to rain!

Warning: you will get almost no sleep so make sure you have plenty of good food to eat and go to bed early for the week leading up to it. Also, don't fall asleep later on the next morning or you will wake up badly sunburnt!

**Chapter 10 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

The palace was buzzing with activity. Charlotte had never seen so many people excited about having a visitor, let alone the staff of the Genovian palace. They all usually hated having guests for they would be bossed around and treated badly by the visiting well-to-do person. Prince Pierre was clearly different.

The older members of the staff were all swapping stories of his gentleman behaviour, and the ones who had been there since his birth, how much of a sweet boy he had been. All their wonderful stories excited Charlotte more than she could have imagined. She couldn't wait to meet this wonderful man!

The prince would be arriving any minute so Charlotte was in Her Majesties office waiting with her. By just watching Clarisse, Charlotte could tell she was excited. The Queen was pacing the room and constantly looking out the window to the drive below.

Finally Queen Clarisse turned to Charlotte with a determined look.

"Charlotte, let us go and wait for Pierre outside. I think the fresh air will do me some good" Clarisse said, her mind made up.

"Of course, Your Majesty" Charlotte said, as Joseph opened the door and they filed out.

Walking down the corridor to the front entrance, Charlotte found it difficult to keep up with Her Majesty without running. She shared an amused look with Joseph at this as they almost 'cantered' down the steps outside. Joseph was clearly worried the Queen would fall as he drew a little closer to her from behind.

Coming to a halt at the drive, Charlotte's heart almost skipped a beat when she saw the approaching limousine. They had brought the prince from the airport to the palace without any difficulties so had arrived successfully.

The limousine pulled up and stopped in front of Her Majesty. Clarisse began to make her way to the side door when it opened and out stepped…

The driver? And the security guard?

By the looks on their faces, Charlotte could tell they were not expecting to be greeted by the Queen herself. Quite the opposite she thought.

Laughter erupted in the crowd now gathered outside the palace as the Prince emerged from the driver's seat. This was clearly not expected and for a moment Charlotte thought Queen Clarisse was going to reprimand her son.

But that moment passed and Clarisse began to chuckle lightly as she shook her head at her approaching son. The look they shared was clearly that of amusement.

"Pierre, you never cease to surprise me" Clarisse said lovingly as she accepted her sons kiss on her cheek.

"I do try mother, and besides, your staff looked so stressed that I suggested they have the relaxed drive in the back with all the unnecessary luxuries. I didn't need to so I offered to drive them for a change. It was a wonderful experience!" Pierre beamed, looking over at the driver being reprimanded by Joseph.

Clarisse just shook her head with amazement, laughing lightly again. Pierre was looking at Joseph now, making his way over to him.

"Joe old man, don't be hard on the man. It wasn't his idea to let me drive. He was actually rather reluctant but you know how convincing I am" Pierre said, addressing Joseph.

"Old man?" Joseph asked, lifting an eyebrow with his usual serious, straight features.

Pierre just laughed and slapped him across the shoulder before grasping his hand and shaking it politely.

"It's good to see you again, Prince Pierre" Joseph said, bowing his head slightly.

"Enough of the Prince business, I'm not a prince anymore so give it a rest!" Pierre laughed.

"Of course Pierre" Joseph said, eyes twinkling as he smiled.

Queen Clarisse was watching this interaction with quite an amused expression but also one of immense love. Charlotte knew Clarisse was overjoyed to be with her son again and by her reaction of his entrance, expecting such behaviour. Charlotte, on the other hand, had found it rather shocking. She was still trying to keep up with all the interactions happening around her and also trying to get a first impression of what the Prince was like to meet.

By now Pierre had linked his mother's hand around his arm and was about to walk up the steps when he made eye contact with Charlotte.

He froze in his steps and his smile vanished.

Queen Clarisse stopped and frowned at her son's behaviour before looking at where his eyes were staring. Her smile faltered slightly and a look of fear crossed her face that was barely noticeable. Charlotte saw it however, and it frightened her.

Clarisse recovered in an instant, back to her cheerful, smiling self.

"Pierre, I don't believe you have met my assistant Charlotte. She has only been working here at the palace for a couple of years" Clarisse introduced them politely.

At his mother's voice, Pierre seemed to snap back to reality. His face was once again graced by a gorgeous smile as he took Charlotte's hand in his.

"I do apologise Charlotte, but for a moment there I thought I had seen a ghost!" Pierre laughed, shaking his head at his own mistake.

"You see, you look almost identical to my late Aunt Marie, Mother's sister. She has been gone for some years but seeing you…Well, you are beauty to behold my dear" Pierre said with a flourish, lowering his lips to her hand.

"Thank you, Your Highness" Charlotte managed to choke out.

This revelation was a shock to Charlotte and she couldn't help suspecting the Queen to knowing more than she was letting on. It was such things as this and the way that Queen Clarisse kept avoiding her gaze. Perhaps Pierre could help her…

"Just call me Pierre, Charlotte" he said with a grin as he once again turned to his mother, linking arms and making his way inside.

Charlotte stood there a moment, shocked by all that had happened in such a short time. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts that she couldn't even begin to understand. She had obviously stood there for some time for when she looked up, Joseph was approaching her and all others had gone.

"Are you alright Charlotte?" Joseph asked, his face full of concern.

"Y-yes" She stammered, allowing herself to be lead inside by Joseph.

'What just happened?' Charlotte kept asking herself as she walked in stunned silence through the palace with Joseph's firm grip on her arm.

She couldn't even begin to imagine.

**A.N. – Well, well, well…looks like Pierre let something slip that shouldn't have been known by our dear Charlotte. What will Charlotte make of this information? Read on to find out more…**


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N. – **On with the story, hope you are all enjoying it immensely! Please give me a review! (On my knees begging…)

**Disclaimer – **It gets tiring saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over so please remember: I don't own anything except the story line!

**Chapter 11 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

Charlotte awoke with the sunlight streaming in the window and covering her with a golden glow. Squinting in the bright light, she rose from her bed and looked towards the window. She had fallen asleep with the curtains open; how very unlike her.

Looking down at herself, she found she was still wearing her clothes from the day before. She hadn't even managed to change into her nightwear! What had happened last night?

Then it all came flooding back.

Pierre had arrived and whilst making introductions he had let slip that Charlotte looked almost identical to his late Aunt. What did that mean? Was she somehow related to Clarisse's family? It would explain why Queen Clarisse had been acting so strange around her lately…

Then she remembered Joseph saying something to her before bringing her up here to her quarters. All of that was just a blur so she could only assume that she was too exhausted and confused to get ready for bed so had just fallen asleep as soon as she collapsed on her bed.

This morning, however, she was much more clear headed. She knew that Pierre had information that could help her in her search for her birth mother, so knew she had to find him and talk to him.

But first things first, she needed to shower and redress. And by the feel of her light head, she also needed something to eat.

Looking across at her clock she found that it was still quite early and that Pierre would still be sleeping. This meant that she still had plenty of time before talking to him.

She immediately began readying herself for the day ahead, knowing she still needed to report to Queen Clarisse at some stage in the next couple of hours. She could do it all, whether she went without a break all day or not.

'Family comes first' Charlotte thought to herself as she headed for the bathroom.

OoOoOoOoOoOo 

It was lunchtime and still Charlotte hadn't had time to find Pierre. As soon as she had reported to Her Majesty, Clarisse had found something for Charlotte to organise. Not just that but every time Charlotte tried to leave, Queen Clarisse would give her some more work. Charlotte was almost beginning to think Queen Clarisse didn't want Charlotte to speak to Pierre.

Charlotte shook this thought off; it wasn't good to be suspecting her sovereign in such a way.

Finally leaving Clarisse's office, Charlotte headed down to the kitchens. It was the place Pierre was having his lunch, or so all the staff was saying.

Walking into the kitchens, Charlotte found Pierre sitting there with what appeared to be a feast for ten in front of him. He appeared to be waving away more food the cooks were trying to add to the pile.

"Please, I don't need anymore thank you. You've given me more than I can even make a dent in. I may be a full grown man but I can't eat _that_ much!" Pierre was saying with a look of exasperation.

Charlotte smiled, this situation was rather commical as the cooks tried immensely to please Pierre with all manner of different dishes. They must have been working all morning with the amount the few of them had made.

Pierre looked up as Charlotte moved into the kitchen and his exasperation immediately changed to that of a broad smile.

"Oh hello, beautiful. Can you help me stop the chefs from cooking everything they own?" Pierre asked kindly, his eyes twinkling with humour.

"Gentlemen, please" Charlotte began.

"Her Majesty wouldn't appreciate you wasting all the food we have in storage. I'm sure Prince Pierre has more than enough to eat right now. You wouldn't want him to collapse from over eating would you?"

At this the chefs got the idea so began cleaning up the mess they had created and put away all the unprepared food. They soon left so it was just Charlotte and Pierre.

"Thank you, Charlotte" Pierre said, sighing in relief.

"They really were beginning to get to me. All I wanted was some pancakes and chocolate drink! And they start bombarding me with everything they have!" Pierre chuckled, shaking his head.

"Care to join me?" he asked Charlotte, indicating the chair opposite him on the small table.

Charlotte took the seat and began searching the pile for something appropriate for her to eat for lunch.

"By the way Charlotte, I will remind you to call me Pierre. I'm not a prince anymore, even though I'm the Queen's son, so I don't need the title," Pierre said kindly.

"Of course, Pierre" Charlotte said, smiling.

"Tell me, Charlotte, where did you run off to last night? I thought you would join the happy gathering" Pierre asked.

Charlotte's heart skipped a beat and she had to swallow before it jumped right up her throat. Taking a deep breath, Charlotte decided to get right into why she had searched out Pierre.

"That is why I wanted to speak to you. I was curious about what you were saying yesterday afternoon when you arrived," Charlotte asked, trying not to sound too curious.

"You mean when I said you looked like my late Aunt Marie?" Pierre asked, quite comfortable with the conversation.

Charlotte didn't trust her voice so just nodded.

"Well, what do you want to know?" Pierre asked, picking up a carrot and chewing quietly, waiting for Charlotte to begin.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her? I tried to ask Queen Clarisse this morning but she told me to get on with my work and not concern myself with it" Charlotte explained.

"Yes, I would expect Mother to react in such a way. You see she still beats herself up over it and blames herself for Marie's death" Pierre was frowning at this, "which of course is completely ridiculous. Mother couldn't do anything about Marie's sickness."

"What was wrong with her?" Charlotte asked, not knowing where this was leading.

"Marie had a terminal illness that there was no cure for and so was dying slowly over about a year I think. There was nothing any of us could have done" Pierre explained, looking sad.

"Then why does Queen Clarisse blame herself? Surely she must understand?" Charlotte asked, confused.

"It wasn't the sickness itself that Mother blames herself for, it's the fact that she wasn't there when Marie passed away, even though she was asking for her" Pierre was staring off into the past, remembering.

"You see, Mother herself was also very sick at the time. She was ill for many months herself and even ended up in hospital in the end, just when Marie had reached her worst.

"We weren't allowed to see mother for months on end. The doctor wouldn't permit it. I even remember father storming around complaining that he was the king but not even he was allowed to visit his own wife. He was saying something about her hiding something from him, which made him quite a terror to be around during that time.

"It wasn't until Mother was in hospital and Marie was on her death bed that things really became desperate. Mother was at her worst and the doctor came to see Marie, saying that Mother really wanted to come and see her but couldn't. As far as I know, Mother was at the climax of her illness just as Marie passed away. She has never forgiven herself for not being here and was depressed for months after Marie's passing. We were never told of what it was Mother actually had and why we weren't allowed to see her. She would always avoid the topic and the doctor said he couldn't say because of patient confidentiality.

"What was his name again; Dr. Ferguson? No…Dr…Fitzgerald! That was it, Dr Fitzgerald. Apparently a very good doctor but I think he was over-reacting to Mothers illness just a tad," Pierre said thoughtfully.

But Charlotte was barely listening now. The doctor was with Clarisse during a long illness that lasted many months, and they were at the hospital at the end. Charlotte couldn't help but shake the feeling that this was somehow very significant indeed. There was one thing that would tie everything together and give Charlotte a lead.

"Tell me, Pierre, when was it that Queen Clarisse was in the hospital?" Charlotte asked, her own voice sounding distant.

She was definitely assuming a lot here but everything was so overwhelming. If she was on the right track at this moment, and could understand all the clues she had gathered, the truth would be so huge, so mind consuming she couldn't even begin to imagine what it could mean. All she needed was the date.

Pierre seemed not to notice Charlotte's paled face or trembling figure as she waited for his answer. He was staring into space, figuring out the date.

"I believe it was in 1967…sometime in July, although I could b – CHARLOTTE!" Pierre sprang up as Charlotte collapsed out of her chair and onto the cold hard floor.

The truth had overwhelmed her.

**A.N. – **Goodness me, the drama! What conclusion has Charlotte come to I wonder…read on to find out!


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N. – **So sorry about the long wait for this chapter, but I've been terribly busy. The next few chapters should come along quite quickly now because I want this finished before I go on holiday. Thanks to the reviewer who cleared up the disclaimer business for me, it was greatly appreciated!

Just a quick note to those who had the thought of a Charlotte/Pierre romance cross their mind, I AM SO SORRY! That will definitely NOT occur in this story because that is just WRONG! But if you want me to write a separate one-shot of them, without them being related, then just let me know in your review and I'll get onto it. Well that's it from me…

**Chapter 12 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

_Pierre seemed not to notice Charlotte's paled face or trembling figure as she waited for his answer. He was staring into space, figuring out the date._

"_I believe it was in 1967…sometime in July, although I could b – CHARLOTTE!" Pierre sprang up as Charlotte collapsed out of her chair and onto the cold hard floor._

_The truth had overwhelmed her._

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu filled Charlotte as she opened her eyes to the sunlight streaming down onto her face. She was once again on her bed, fully dressed with the curtains open. Looking over at the clock, she found that it was still the same day. It was late afternoon, so…why was she in bed?

It all came back. The unbelievable truth struck her once again and Charlotte found herself gasping for breath as her heart beat irregularly. She tumbled off the side of the bed, scrambled to her feet and practically fell out the door into the corridor.

She had to find Queen Clarisse and she had to find her now.

'Breathe' Charlotte told herself, pausing in the corridor to collect herself.

She took some deep, calming breaths with her eyes closed, feeling the hysteria leave her. She needed to be calm when she spoke with the Queen or she wouldn't get anywhere.

Calmed down immensely, Charlotte started striding down the corridors to the Queen's office, the only place she would be at this time. Charlotte just hoped she would be alone, or this could get very difficult.

Looking dead straight at the door ahead of her, Charlotte lost all thought of her usual quiet polite manner as she burst through the door into the Queen's office.

"Charlotte!" Joseph scolded, as Charlotte stood fuming in the doorway.

Charlotte lost some of her resolve as she noticed that Queen Clarisse was definitely not alone. Both Joseph _and _Pierre were present. And they both had a very shocked look on their face at her trembling form radiating anger.

Charlotte ignored them and looked towards her Queen.

Clarisse's look was the one that struck Charlotte as most unusual.

She had a look of fear.

"You were there" Charlotte whispered tensely, not knowing what she was going to say so just opened her mouth to the words.

"Both you and the doctor were there the whole night" Charlotte was shaking with the emotions rushing through her system.

Clarisse had opened her mouth to say something but no words came so she just shook her head slightly, clenching her hands together in front of her.

"How come you never told me? You know something that you're not telling me and I have an idea of what it is" Charlotte's voice was still a whisper but it was slowly rising.

"Goodness me! Charlotte, what on earth are you talking about?" Pierre asked, shocked at the manner in which Charlotte was speaking to her sovereign.

Joseph was shifting uncomfortably at Clarisse's side, looking at her with immense concern. He appeared to be ignoring Pierre's question and Charlotte's shocking behaviour. He only had eyes for his Queen as she stood there opening and closing her mouth, struggling to find words.

"Why don't you fill us in? It appears not even your own son knows what happened that night. Tell us, Your Majesty, what happened on that night in July of 1967" Charlotte was fuming, speaking in a slow and tense voice.

"Pierre does know. Like he told you, I was suffering from an illness" Clarisse said quietly, seeming to have gained control enough to speak.

Pierre opened his mouth as if to speak but Charlotte cut across him.

"What was it you were suffering from? I find it interesting that it lasted _months_ and not just weeks. Why couldn't even King Rupert, may he rest in peace, see his own wife for months? I'm sure now that we are all grown up and it was so long ago that you wouldn't mind sharing the information" Charlotte muttered through clenched jaws.

Clarisse's eyes widened at her usually polite and timid assistant as she swallowed and shook her head.

"No…it no longer matters" Clarisse whispered, almost pleading with her hands for Charlotte to stop.

Pierre was stunned into silence at the interactions happening around him.

Charlotte stood there, fists clenched at her sides, eyes closed and attempting to breathe deeply.

'Just breathe' Charlotte was telling herself. She knew it wasn't working at she felt her words boiling to the surface.

"IT DOES MATTER!" Charlotte exploded, losing all control as her eyes snapped open.

"It makes all the difference to me! So stop lying to me and tell me the damn truth! I now know what happened back then. I now know why you have been acting so strange around me since I first asked you to help me find my parents. And when you were reluctant to bring Dr Fitzgerald into it. He knows too, and you have both been keeping it from me; you have both been lying to me" Charlotte's voice was getting quieter and quieter as her eyes began to shine with unshed tears.

"Mother?" Pierre finally croaked out.

He was looking at Clarisse with a mixture of concern and confusion. He clearly wasn't following what Charlotte was talking about, even though he knew it was the time that his Mother was very ill and when Aunt Marie died.

"What is Charlotte talking about?" Pierre asked his trembling Mother that Joseph was clearly trying not to take his eyes from or take hold of her.

Clarisse took no notice of Pierre as she continued to tremble and just open and close her mouth silently. Pierre turned to Charlotte.

"Charlotte?" he asked quietly, moving towards her slightly.

"Why are you so angry? Why do you say that Mother was lying about her illness?"

"Because she wasn't sick" Charlotte replied, still looking Clarisse dead in the eyes.

Charlotte's voice was void of any emotion. It was flat; stating the facts.

Clarisse seemed to take control of her voice as she stepped closer to Charlotte, holding out her hands, pleading. Her eyes were threatening to shed tears but she only had eyes for the young woman standing before her.

"We couldn't tell you" Clarisse whispered.

"We didn't know if it was possible. Nobody else knew and we couldn't risk it getting out if it was just a possibility" Charlotte began to say something but Clarisse carried on.

"There was no way to be sure. You wouldn't have understood and then you would have begun asking unwanted questions. We couldn't let people find out. It's been too long" Clarisse finished with an almost inaudible whisper, tears streaming down her face.

"So you kept it from me" Charlotte whispered back.

"How could it be anyone else? There was no one else there when I was born. You even heard what Pierre said when he arrived. Yet you still would not believe it when I looked so much like Marie? Why?" Charlotte also had tears streaming down her face.

"I – I just couldn't" Clarisse whimpered, lower lip trembling.

"You're not my Queen" Charlotte stated quietly, voice breaking from her tears.

Clarisse was too stunned to answer.

"You're my mother" she stated, her voice still void from emotion.

Charlotte turned from the shocked expressions looking at her and walked from the room.

Just as she closed the door she saw Clarisse collapse onto her knees, clutching her stomach as she sobbed. Joseph fell down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, no longer holding back.

Pierre was staring at where Charlotte had been standing moments before, his mouth half open from shock.

Charlotte quietly closed the door and walked blindly down the corridors until she left the palace.

All she could think of was to keep walking. Nothing else mattered.

**A.N. – **Well, well, well…what do you think? Charlotte still has one more unanswered question. Do you know what it is?


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N. – **Wow! What a reaction that chapter got from all my reviewers! Thanks everyone, they were all very touching and very special. To the reviewer that suggested Joseph might be Charlotte's father: I suggest you go and read over this story again because Clarisse got pregnant from a rape. I don't think Joseph would do something like that…do you?

Here is the next instalment. Enjoy!

**Chapter 13 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

Charlotte seemed to come to herself when she found she was standing before a large pond. She seemed to have walked around the palace a few times because she had passed this lake at least twice already.

It must have been the repetition of the scenery around her that drew her out of her dark reverie.

So it was true. Queen Clarisse hadn't exactly verbally confirmed it but it was still confirmed that Clarisse _was_ Charlotte's birth mother.

She couldn't believe it. How could this have happened? How could Clarisse have kept this from her for so long? Did Joseph know? He didn't seem overly shocked when Charlotte had confronted them.

Charlotte hung her head and sat down upon a large rock before her. She slipped off her shoes and dangled them into the cool water. A fresh, calm sensation travelled up her body and calmed her tumultuous thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly, lifting her head and letting the evening sun envelop her features.

Instantly she felt her entire body relax.

Her mind began to reflect on her interaction with Queen Clarisse.

An overwhelming sense of guilt covered Charlotte as she remembered how Clarisse had reacted to her harsh words. Charlotte hadn't even given Clarisse the decency of fully explaining herself. How could Charlotte completely understand what had happened that night? She just immediately assumed that Clarisse had not wanted her and so had abandoned her. Why didn't she stop and assess the situation more? She was usually so good with interpreting information…why oh why did she let her emotions take over?

So what did really happen that night? And why did Clarisse keep her child a secret? Even from her own husband? Why did she give her up?

"Hold on!" Charlotte exclaimed to no one in particular.

'Who is my father?' Charlotte thought suddenly.

If it was King Rupert, may he rest in peace, then why did Clarisse keep everything secret? Surely the crown would be pleased to have another child, especially a young princess.

"PRINCESS?" Charlotte shouted.

No way could she be a Princess, she didn't want to be. But if Rupert wasn't her father…who was?

Charlotte's eyes widened.

Surely Queen Clarisse didn't have an affair…it would be so out of character for her to do something like that. And besides, she never did anything for herself so that must be ruled out.

But then…what else could have happened?

Charlotte raised her feet out of the water and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her head upon her knees. This was all too much for her to take…

"Charlotte?" a soft voice asked, immediately behind her.

Charlotte turned, surprised to find Her Majesty standing behind her.

She couldn't speak for fear of losing it that she just nodded her head in acknowledgement, placing her head down upon her knees again.

She felt Clarisse move around her and sit close beside her upon the rock also. Charlotte didn't raise her head. She was too ashamed of the way she had treated the woman beside her.

"Charlotte…we need to talk" Clarisse spoke softly, gently.

"You need to understand what happened not only that night but the months before leading up to it.

"I know you feel I have betrayed you by not telling you what I knew sooner. But…I really didn't know what else to do. I need you to understand that I was doing it for both our sakes. It has been kept secret for so long that I couldn't allow it to get out just because of a small possibility, please understand that Charlotte" Clarisse was still speaking softly, but Charlotte could tell she was struggling with her emotions.

Charlotte raised her head and looked into Clarisse's tired eyes. They weren't full of joy and sparkling with humour, as they usually were, a fact that made Charlotte feel even guiltier.

"But why have you been keeping it a secret? Why did you leave me in the first place?" Charlotte whispered.

Clarisse's eyes filled with tears but Charlotte keep a steady gaze.

"I was afraid" Clarisse almost choked out.

"Afraid of what?" Charlotte asked confused; she had never known this woman to be afraid of anything.

"Afraid of not loving you. Afraid of what people would think when they found out. Afraid of only seeing you as the memory of when you were created" Clarisse's tears were pouring in earnest now, without shame.

"That fear is what compelled me to leave you so you could be loved by someone else. That decision almost killed me."

"How?" Charlotte asked, afraid of what all the answers would tell her.

"Have you ever carried a child inside you for months? Have you felt that child grow, develop and move within you?" Clarisse asked, Charlotte shook her head.

"I carried you for 9 months, Charlotte, enough time for me to become as attached to you as any other of my children. To have to give you up, my only baby girl was enough to break any woman.

"As Pierre told you, I was depressed for months. The entire country put it down to the death of my sister but I knew the truth. It was mostly the loss of my child that was weighing upon my heart so strongly. By then it was too late to do anything else" Clarisse's gaze was unfocussed, looking into the past.

"But…why not just keep me? Why did you fear that you wouldn't love me? And why didn't you tell King Rupert? Surely he had a right to know…" Charlotte's mind was overflowing with unanswered questions.

"Rupert wasn't your father, Charlotte" Clarisse stated, looking sadder than she ever had.

"I wish he was. With all my being I wish he was because none of this would have happened."

"Then…how?" Charlotte asked uncertainly.

"And what do you mean when you say 'fear of only seeing me as the memory of when I was created?" Charlotte frowned with confusion, holding Clarisse's gaze.

An immense pain shone out from Clarisse's eyes, such that Charlotte felt her heart wrench for this woman.

Clarisse raised her hand and cupped the side of Charlotte's face, smiling sadly.

"It was my own stubborn decision that caused it. I decided to carry out a task without protection so what started out as something harmless turned into pure torture" Clarisse dropped her hand from Charlotte's face, and turned her gaze to the glowing sunset.

"I was attacked by a man in my own sisters home. It was only the attacker and I so nothing could be done. There was no way I could get help and no way I could overtake him myself.

"Who would have thought that one night of torture would cause a lifetime of suffering?" Clarisse whispered.

"What - " Charlotte began to ask, but the truth struck home before she finished.

"No!" Charlotte gasped, grabbing Clarisse's arm, making her face her, wanting desperately for her to deny it.

Clarisse took Charlotte's hands into her own and twisted her body so she was facing the young woman.

"Do you see why I kept it from you? Do you see why I couldn't keep you? The decision I made was the only possibility Charlotte! Surely you must understand now! Your monster of a father was dead; he shot himself so there was no one else who could know of what happened. Until a week ago, it was only the doctor and I who knew of your existence but then Joseph found out. I don't know how he guessed but he has also sworn secrecy.

"I know this is hard to except Charlotte and I know there is so much to take in, but it is the way it has all turned out" Clarisse was holding onto Charlotte tightly, pleading with her eyes for her to understand.

Charlotte just stared at Clarisse. Her mind was totally blank.

This was more than she had ever imagined. It just kept getting deeper and darker that Charlotte felt she would only need to pinch herself to find it was all just a terrible nightmare…

Then everything came screaming at her like a rushing train.

"I'm an unwanted child" Charlotte stated unfeeling.

"No – " Clarisse shook her head, trying to keep a hold of Charlotte's withdrawing hands.

"I am a product of a horrible sin. How could anyone love me?" she was mumbling, her heart and soul shattered.

"No, Charlotte, please – " Clarisse was trying in vain to convince her otherwise.

Charlotte just shook her off, standing up from the rock and walking dazedly back to the palace, silent, leaving Clarisse to her own sorrows.

Charlotte would never remember how she had made it back to her room, or when exactly she had begun sobbing uncontrollably. Nor when the comforting arms had wrapped her into a loving embrace.

All she would remember was the love that this woman was showing her and feeding into her broken soul after so many years of absence. The comfort she felt that night was nothing like she had ever experienced in her life before.

Perhaps this woman could be forgiven.

**A.N. – **My goodness… please review…


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N. – **I'd like to say a special thank you to all of the people who reviewed my last chapter. All your reviews were very touching and it was really lovely of you to say the things you did. You have no idea how much it meant to me. So thanks.

**Chapter 14 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering**

_Charlotte would never remember how she had made it back to her room, or when exactly she had begun sobbing uncontrollably. Nor when the comforting arms had wrapped her into a loving embrace._

_All she would remember was the love that this woman was showing her and feeding into her broken soul after so many years of absence. The comfort she felt that night was nothing like she had ever experienced in her life before._

_Perhaps this woman could be forgiven._

Charlotte felt warm. She was enveloped in a sense of comfort and safety but most importantly, love.

She refused to open her eyes as she woke up from her peaceful slumber, even though the sun was streaming onto her face. She really needed to get back into the habit of closing her curtains when she retires for the night.

She felt a wriggle beside her and nearly jumped.

'Someone is on my bed!' she thought to herself before the events of the night before came flooding back.

Opening her eyes slowly, she looked timidly at the person beside her.

Clarisse was fast asleep. Charlotte couldn't believe that her Queen had come in here last night just to comfort her. But then again, she remembered her revelations that Clarisse is really her mother and, after all, that's what mother's do; comfort you when you're upset.

Charlotte now comfortably watched Clarisse as she slept as it gave her time to think over the past few days and what they meant.

Charlotte thought she had been abandoned in the hospital as an unwanted child, but as Clarisse had revealed, the situation really was entirely different.

Charlotte looked at the woman before her.

She had been through so much in her life. She had been raped without anyone realising, given birth to a secret child, lost her sister when she needed her most, and then, most recently, lost her youngest son and husband.

This woman had been through so much, most of which the country didn't even know about, but yet managed to be the tower of strength for so many people. How she did it Charlotte would never know.

How could she not forgive this woman? It wasn't even her fault. She had done what she thought was best for her child at the time and best for her family, which, inevitably, came back to the best thing for the country.

Charlotte had to forgive this woman or it would cause them both so much more grief.

Besides, had living with her adopted parents been so bad? Definitely not! They had treated her as any other mother would treat their own child. She had the best parents in the world in her opinion, and she had Clarisse to thank for it.

If Clarisse had kept her as a baby, then she would be living in the palace. She could even be under the title of Princess. That is something that Charlotte didn't even want.

So was it so hard to forgive this woman of a past that couldn't be shaped any better way? Oh no, she would forgive her birth mother, and she would be there for her if ever Clarisse needed her.

Clarisse was obviously becoming aware that she was being watched as she stirred in her sleep, a sigh escaping her lips. The arms that were drawn around Charlotte slowly slipped from around her as Clarisse's hands stretched up to Clarisse's face to cover her awakening eyes.

As Clarisse's eyes opened, Charlotte watched silently. Her Queen's eyes searched the room, getting their bearings before landing upon Charlotte herself.

She blinked several times before smiling lovingly.

Standing up from the bed, Clarisse smoothed out her slightly creased clothing and ran her fingers through her hair.

"How are you feeling this morning, Charlotte?" Clarisse asked her quietly.

"Much better" Charlotte managed.

Charlotte sat on the side of the bed, her back to Clarisse. She couldn't seem to face her yet, not even say the things she needed to say to show her newly revealed mother that she forgave her.

Clarisse made that even more difficult as she came around the side of the bed and sat down beside her. She placed her hand on the back of Charlotte's head, pulling her into a warm embrace. Charlotte felt the tears begin to fall as Clarisse kissed the top of her head.

Charlotte let the tears fall as she wrapped her arms around her mother.

"I'm sorry" Charlotte whispered, her heart saying so much more but her mind only managing so much.

"No Charlotte, it is I who should be apologising. I could have handled this situation entirely different so you didn't have to find out the way you did" Clarisse said quietly, holding Charlotte tightly and rocking her back and forth slightly.

Charlotte immediately knew that Clarisse was once again blaming the entire ordeal upon herself. Charlotte couldn't let that happen as it wasn't Clarisse's fault at all.

"No! It is my fault that this has spiralled into the misery that it has because I refused to listen to you from the start. I reacted extremely inappropriately and hurt you more than anyone could. For that I am truly sorry" Charlotte said, pulling back slightly.

Looking into Clarisse's face, Charlotte saw a sad smile as tears also trickled down the elder woman's face.

"I'm sorry for everything I said and I forgive you for any wrong you believe you have caused me" Charlotte said, smiling.

Clarisse pulled Charlotte into another tight embrace as she kissed her atop her head, her answer for all of what Charlotte had said and more.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Joseph stood leaning forwards against the banister of the balcony. He had been watching Charlotte and Clarisse interacting in the gazebo in the gardens below him.

His heart was swelling with love for the two of them as they talked cheerfully and laughed together. They truly had sorted out any misgivings between them and had accepted the other into their life. They had spent the last couple of days just 'catching up' with what the other had done in their life. Pierre had also spent many hours with the two women as he also came to accept the new addition to the family. He and Charlotte had got along right from the start so there was no problems there.

The past couple of weeks had managed to stay a secret, as the press hadn't said a word hinting that they knew something immense had occurred. The secret had been kept safe.

Joseph smiled as he pushed away from the banister. He would join the two in the gazebo for some afternoon tea.

Joseph's smile grew as he reflected on how much the relationship between himself and Clarisse had grown, and how she had gone to him with her sorrows instead of drawing into herself.

They truly had something magnificent.

As Joseph walked off, the palace carried on with their daily routines, fully unaware that anything significant had occurred in the past couple of weeks. Only a select few knew and that was all that mattered.

The loving family in this beautiful Genovian palace could only grow in their love for each other, taking the country forward with them.

A night of torture may have first appeared to cause a lifetime of suffering, but it in fact had brought about a love so strong and forgiving, that even the people themselves were yet to realise it.

But they would, in time.

The End

**A.N. – **Well for now it is. I am going home today and will be on holiday for about 2 months so I won't have the chance to write any more until the end of January. Thank you to all reviewers and readers, all your comments meant the world to me. I'm just sorry I don't have time to thank you all individually. But I have in my heart!

When I have the chance, I will extend on this idea. So keep an eye out for any more of my work!

Thank you again, Annette-Rose.

Adios!


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